betrayal

A lingering soberness fuelled by a depressed mind, too depleted of energy to pour another glass of wine.

Once again brought to the forefront of my affliction, how much I still hate you for ruining me to feed your addiction.

I’ve since refused to become collateral to anyone else, all the meanwhile still riddled with horrible reminders of living in your abusive hell.

If we were to cross paths again, in yet another cruel twist of fate, there are a few ways I’ve romanticised over all this time of how to retaliate.

I’d love to beat you from atop the pedestal you thought you’d deserved to stand all these years, reduce you to the piece of shit that I used to fear.

Tear apart your mental health and hold you down until you resign, then cut open your face so your scars match those you left on mine.

But why waste more time than time already spent and served, and worst of all gift you the attention of which you definitely don’t deserve.

Hopefully this vendetta is one that I’ll eventually cease to pursue,
But I’m still angry for falling apart but at least I fell away from you.

When the moon is full but the night is dark, when the wind is dry as your spirit has past.

In the vessel you lay in a quiet wooden box, but your mind travels to a place where it eventually stops.

Here you are greeted by an overwhelming peace, and the demons within you fall quiet and cease.

You’re showed your life lived, along with the mistakes, and explained the reason you wound up in this place.

You fall and feel the grass weave between your fingers, but there’s an uncertainty that hovers over you and lingers.

You stare down into the water and that’s where you see me, standing over your body lying in a ship of Mahogany.

The mistakes you’ve made are forgiven and replaced, with determination and purpose to the life you’re again yet to face.

You’ve a chance to repossess the vessel you left at rest, or to start again anew and hope for the best.

The earth where you lived had been rough and unkind, but you’re unsure still of what you were put there to find.

You shared your love, blood and breath on the way, only to remain lonely at the end of the day.

But I was always there, as much as I physically and mentally could, until the day that I realized it would be me surrounded by wood.

Little did I know that responding to these alarms, would deprive me of the peace that I could only get in your arms.

The spell that you cast has never been broken, despite all the hurtful words that were spoken.

So if you decide not to leave the man in the box, you can come and find me when you’re no longer lost.

I’ll be here my darling until the very end of your time, and your heart will be safe to forever beat within mine.

Lily.Lonelyheart