heartbroken

Fears of Tears

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To grieve is to gather what you can no longer see,
Through exposed tired irides and a heart full of debris.

In the forefront of my mind, a special place that you’d reserved,
I guess you’re lucky you left first so as to avoid all of this hurt.

Memories of our time together, not even remotely compared,
To the love that you gifted me in the home that we shared.

I would give everything that I have left within me, to see you run through that door,
To hold you in my arms again and catch a breath of that scent that I adored.

You took such a piece of me that night that you left, an empty void that remains within the constraints of my chest.

Now I just exist here without you, a lump in my throat that feels like a thousand tethers,
Left to reminisce how special our time was together.

Tepranillyou

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Pen in hand and thoughts beyond irides green and deep,
Wondering if you still think of me or if my name would you dare speak.

Another bites the dust after all and left of their luggage behind,
And so here I sit again, atop a mountain of realisation that I still have a pair yet to find.

Another crack in the porcelain heart that I’ve struggled so hard over the years to protect, Another notch in the belt of heartache, another sleepless night to reflect.

Another lonely night in this dark room, media tightly wrapped by my hand, A script of thoughtfulness that will shortly become inept.

As I watch it all play out on the screen through tired moments of seen, wanting to drift off and forget but awoken by the torture that has been.

But all of the scenes seem to be the same now, the show must go on..
This movie seems to last forever and a new chapter has begun.

Sat atop the baggage left behind, popcorn in hand.
Left here wondering if this movie will ever eventually end.

Destination Isolation

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Lonliness is a drug that long surpasses the night, wears off in the unconscious but comes back in the light.

An addiction easy to fall into, to avoid vulnerability, mistaking carelessness and numbness for a state of tranquillity.

No existing treatment or cure but to open your heart, to someone who could effortlessly tear it apart.

Finding distractions and errands to help my brain to adjust, but in between each task, resurfaces another memory of us.

They say time heals all wounds, but this particular scar I don’t want to conceal, because at the twilight of each day, when the lonliness sets in, at least I know what we shared was real.

Knight in shining harm her.

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When you’re living in a version of hell, but you don’t encompass the strength to fight.

You’ve fallen so deep that you’ve lost your light.

Melting abroad, as you drag your defeated body over a bed after bed of coals.

Another casualty to the cesspool of broken hearts and souls.

There was a knight who existed in a place concealed to your naked eye.

But he too fell victim to a life he lived a lie.

Powerless, he dove down to save you, only to tear your world apart.

And all that he retrieved was the remains of a girl who lost a battle with her heart.