#poem

Fears of Tears

Uncategorized

To grieve is to gather what you can no longer see,
Through exposed tired irides and a heart full of debris.

In the forefront of my mind, a special place that you’d reserved,
I guess you’re lucky you left first so as to avoid all of this hurt.

Memories of our time together, not even remotely compared,
To the love that you gifted me in the home that we shared.

I would give everything that I have left within me, to see you run through that door,
To hold you in my arms again and catch a breath of that scent that I adored.

You took such a piece of me that night that you left, an empty void that remains within the constraints of my chest.

Now I just exist here without you, a lump in my throat that feels like a thousand tethers,
Left to reminisce how special our time was together.

Tepranillyou

Uncategorized

Pen in hand and thoughts beyond irides green and deep,
Wondering if you still think of me or if my name would you dare speak.

Another bites the dust after all and left of their luggage behind,
And so here I sit again, atop a mountain of realisation that I still have a pair yet to find.

Another crack in the porcelain heart that I’ve struggled so hard over the years to protect, Another notch in the belt of heartache, another sleepless night to reflect.

Another lonely night in this dark room, media tightly wrapped by my hand, A script of thoughtfulness that will shortly become inept.

As I watch it all play out on the screen through tired moments of seen, wanting to drift off and forget but awoken by the torture that has been.

But all of the scenes seem to be the same now, the show must go on..
This movie seems to last forever and a new chapter has begun.

Sat atop the baggage left behind, popcorn in hand.
Left here wondering if this movie will ever eventually end.

Destination Isolation

Uncategorized

Lonliness is a drug that long surpasses the night, wears off in the unconscious but comes back in the light.

An addiction easy to fall into, to avoid vulnerability, mistaking carelessness and numbness for a state of tranquillity.

No existing treatment or cure but to open your heart, to someone who could effortlessly tear it apart.

Finding distractions and errands to help my brain to adjust, but in between each task, resurfaces another memory of us.

They say time heals all wounds, but this particular scar I don’t want to conceal, because at the twilight of each day, when the lonliness sets in, at least I know what we shared was real.

Listen, her.

Uncategorized

You speak of a wooden heart, and I know that of a story too well, but the splinters break away and tear through my veins to rain blood down on this version of hell.

First born to the sea, floating naively..

Setting sail with notion, this virgin ship sailed it’s first rough ocean, being shoved around by passing waves of emotion..

The sun rapes my eyes upon the horizon..

By the aftermath of the first storm, it took me years to discover that my sails were torn…

See you can take an axe to this heart only to discover it’s cemented seamless core, and no matter the tool you use to pry it open you’ll find yet another wooden door.

And it’s locked.. With a key that’s been lost for years, buried beneath an ocean of tears, from those I’ve lost and those I’ve gained, still causing everyone who climbs aboard, the utmost pain.

With an anchor tied to my feet, embedded so deep without enough room to breathe, I fall under the surface of my own sea, catching each wave as it washes over me.

And I’m tired… and I’m done, what is this life that I’ve succumbed? For which else does it hold if, what is yet to unfold?

I don’t forsee it.. there’s no lighthouse guiding me home, the bulb has long since blown, and now I’m just used to floating alone.

If you happen to find me, be weary of what you drag to shore, because of what seems to be a structured door, is actually rotting at the core.

To ensure your safety, avoid splinters in your heart too, as you’re determined to pursue, this mission of rescue.. When eventually you’ll see, that the waves that once crashed over me, wash us upon this beach.

And as the tide begins to rise, you wipe the sand from my eyes and you come to realise.. where my anchor still resides, pulling me to my demise.